Review: The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Title: The Super Mario Bros. Movie
MPAA Rating: PG
Directors: Aaron Horvath, Michael Jelenic, Pierre Leduc
Starring: Chris Pratt, Jack Black, Anya Taylor-Joy
Runtime: 1 hr 32 mins

What It Is: The Mario Brothers Mario (Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) are simply mild-mannered Brooklyn plumbers. That is until the fall down a warp pipe and into unfamiliar territory. For Mario that’s the Mushroom Kingdom, run by it’s princess Peach (Taylor-Joy). Luigi isn’t so lucky. He’s ended up in a hellscape run by a crazed dragon, the king of the Koopas, Bowser (Black). Bowser however has his eyes set on a prize…the princess and her kingdom and he’ll do whatever he needs to to accomplish this. What he didn’t know was that Mario will do whatever he needs to in order to rescue his brother from the clutches of the scaled dictator.

What We Think: Yeah…I’m too old for this shit. The film is made for children and as such the script is simple. It’s a heroes journey in the simplest sense. Pratt was…a choice to play the titular plumber but he was, for me, the wrong one. Jack Black steals the film with his portrayal of Bowser. Funny, but comes off as a villain you don’t hate. I’m sorry but Seth Rogen doesn’t work as Donkey Kong and I hated whenever he was on screen. Overall this is predictable childish drivel. The type we’ve come to expect from Illumination at this point. Slap a Nintendo skin on their normally awful writing and here…we…go. Same ole same ole.

Our Grade: C-, This is relatively harmless crap. It’s not a badly made movie just a badly written one. With visuals that do nothing for me or anyone else. Some questionable voice actin decisions equally hurt what could’ve been a strong first entry in Nintendo’s new film ventures. Monetarily they struck gold and I expect whatever the next project is will be funded by this film and then some. I just wish they’d made a better movie.