Title: Fast X
MPA Rating: PG-13
Director: Louis Leterrier
Starring: Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jason Statham
Runtime: 2 hrs 21 mins
What It Is: In what is the, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, the tenth entry in this street racing/crime heist franchise we are joined by our heroes including the seemingly unkillable Dom Toretto (Diesel) and his band of merry thieves. In this neverending tale of escalating stupidity there’s some sort of plot where a bad guy named Dante (Jason Momoa) has some sort of elaborate revenge plot. Something something explosions and craziness ensue end credits.
What We Think: I absolutely despised this utter garbage fire of a film. Please stop making these, and I am dead serious about this. Obviously there’s AT LEAST one more of these because making a complete film with the almost 2 and a half hour runtime of this would be too easy. Like…this isn’t Shakespeare how is it we cannot resolve this in over 2 hours? This is probably the worst film of 2023 and given some of the schlock garbage I’ve sat through (looking at you Hypnotic) that is a BOLD statement. Vin Diesel is as wooden as ever in this and frankly he’s not even worth the time. Jason Momoa is doing…something and if not for the absolute charisma he’s doing it with the film would be unbearable. I almost walked out of this nonsense several times.
Our Grade: F, Grossly overblown and filled to it’s ever loving brim with nonsensical bullshit. I’m tired of this series. One filmed with superhero antics that make no sense and shouldn’t feasibly work. Here’s a spoiler because this movie sucks and I don’t want you to shit through it. We don’t get a resolution. Just some vague bull that’ll be settled in the next over produced stupid expensive nightmare of an action “movie”. Gross.