Title: The Woman in Cabin 10
MPA Rating: R
Director: Simon Stone
Starring: Keira Knightley, Guy Pearce, Gitte Witt
Runtime: 1 hr 32 mins

What It Is: Investigative journalist Laura Blalock (Knightley) is invited to a get-together aboard the massive yacht of Richard Bullmer and his wife, Anne (Lisa Loven Kongsli). On the very first night, Laura stumbles into Cabin 10 while trying to escape her ex, Ben (David Ajala), and sees an unfamiliar woman inside. Later that night, she witnesses something, or someone, fall into the water.

No one believes her, but she knows what she saw. Now she will use all of her investigative instincts to figure out exactly what happened in Cabin 10.

What We Think: What if Knives Out were an uninteresting mess? That is essentially what this is. Shallow murder-mystery shenanigans that never feel earned. Despite the narrative inconsistencies and the outright ridiculousness of some of the real-world logic, such as screaming and being heard underwater, the film keeps pushing forward as if none of it matters.

Keira Knightley seems completely uninterested in the dialogue, and honestly, it is hard to blame her. The writing is bad. Logic has a torn ACL from all the leaps it takes. Guy Pearce feels like he wandered in from an entirely different movie. I love the guy and have even interviewed him for a far better film, but here he is simply bad. Everyone’s apparent lack of engagement, paired with the dreadful dialogue, makes this an exhausting slog.

Our Grade: D-, This is a toothless and mostly worthless murder “mystery” that never allows the audience to have any fun with its central conceit. Characters constantly make the dumbest possible decisions, resulting in an actively frustrating viewing experience. For the sake of your IQ and your sanity, stay far away from this absolute shitshow of a movie.

It is a farce of the most uninteresting kind, and it looks awful, too. There is virtually no color to anything on screen. David Fincher may have won the war on color in film, and we are all worse off for it.

Thankfully and graciously it is only 92 minutes.

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