Review: The Witches

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Title: The Witches
MPAA Rating: PG
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Starring: Anne Hathaway, Octavia Spencer, Stanley Tucci
Runtime: 1 hr 46 mins

What It Is: A narrator (voiced by Chris Rock) tells us a story about witches. How they’re real and how as a kid he met not just one…but many. The leader of these witches is the Grand High Witch (Hathaway) who has a strong hatred for children. Hate so strong that she and her fellow witches plan to turn every single child into a tiny rodent. To do this they’ll plot and plan a way to sell them candy that’ll do so.

What We Think: What an absolute pile of garbage. Anne Hathaway is overacting and chewing so much scenery that even her expanded jaw is stuff full of it.  At every turn, it seems like Zemeckis is continuing his run of terrible decisions. Much like his last film the awful Welcome to Marwen the overuse of bad CGI is one of the things that’s been continually hurting Zemeckis’ pictures. He seems unfocused on making a coherent narrative for children to follow and instead trying too hard to give them something pretty to look at. Very much a candy coated kerfuffle of bleh.

Our Grade: D-, Skip this. For the love of all things holy skip this terrible, no good, very bad film. Anne Hathaway. What happened girl? You were in one of 2019’s worst films with in Serenity and two awful ones here in 2020. This inexcusable garbage and the disappointing The Last Thing He Wanted. There’s just a lot of things on the wrong side of good momentum all congregating here to make something borderline unwatchable. It’s not even bad enough to entertain it’s more so just boring. The biggest sin any film can commit. Zemeckis owes the brilliant Ocatvia Spencer an apology for dragging her into this.

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