Title: If I Had Legs I’d Kick You
MPA Rating: R
Director: Mary Bronstein
Starring: Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, A$AP Rocky
Runtime: 1 hr 53 mins
What It Is: Linda (Byrne) is a therapist and a mother, and both roles are actively contributing to her unraveling. As a therapist, her patients are, in a word, irritating. One of them even leaves her small child in Linda’s care. As a mother, Linda is dealing with her own daughter’s health issues, particularly her difficulty gaining weight. Her husband is in the military and frequently away, leaving her to manage everything alone. But the biggest hole in her life is quite literal: a gaping hole in the ceiling of her apartment that has displaced her and her daughter into a hotel.
What We Think: Any attempt to fully describe this film risks doing it a disservice. This is a female-driven, female-empowered work through and through. During the Q&A, director Mary Bronstein spoke about casting Rose Byrne in the lead, something she had never done before, and it is a choice that absolutely pays off. Byrne is stunning here. She delivers on every level. She is funny, raw, and perfectly tuned into the manic energy of her character’s anxiety. In every frame, the tension is palpable, and the existential dread is heightened by Bronstein’s deliberate and unsettling visual choices.
Conan O’Brien is excellent in his role, but he is not the scene stealer. That title belongs to rapper and actor A$AP Rocky. Every time he appears on screen, whatever comes out of his mouth is laugh-out-loud funny.
Our Grade: A, Rose fucking Byrne, ladies and gentlemen. She is magnificent. Her Golden Globe nomination for Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy is well deserved, even if winning may be an uphill battle. This is a film I wholeheartedly recommend. The experience will likely resonate differently if you are a woman, and especially if you are a mother, but regardless, this is yet another gem from A24.
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